Whether you’ve just found a squished leprechaun on the bottom of your shoe – or completely butchered your best friends gift wrapping, this tape’s for you. It’s the Mini Crime Scene Scotch Tape Dispenser and it’s perfect for all your little crimes. Or big ones. Whatever floats your boat. But now when I think about it. It would look really strange to tie off a big crime with this little tape. Unless you live in Smallsville.

Hmm. And even though I think that wrapping a present poorly should be considered a crime, it’s isn’t. Weird eh? But you know what IS a crime? This:

Image from whigbyreader.com

Most memorable Christmas ever.

Probably should have used a ‘best before’ date.

Get your own Crime Scene Tape right here

Groovy Lights™ are the hottest new accessory for the home, deck and patio. Each of these funky lights comes with 30 plastic pieces you fit together like a puzzle. Kinda like an IKEA lamp but more rewarding. And what’s even more amazing is all the pieces are actually identical! Genius.

I’ll admit it’s a little tricky at first but luckliy there’s an easy to follow step by step guide online right here to get you started. So don’t be like me and think you can do it without looking. The first time I tried it I ended up with helmet. It was unwearable. But anyway, if you follow the directions you’ll be feeling groovy before you know it. And with 15 colours to choose from, who wouldn’t be groovy? Besides a bowling ball. Those things are never groovy.

Smooth.

Another reason why this light is so groovy is the real reason why it was created in the first place. The Groovy Light is fundraising towards Richard Branson’s Virgin Unite Foundation. Now that’s a real bright idea.

Donate to Light for Cause and get your very own Groovy Light for Free.

This is one sexy vintage style Pinup Tea Towel. It’s made from 100% cotton and is designed with a sweet hanging hook in a very cool cardboard tube. The towel is quite large, 65cm x 45cm, and is perfect for drying all your dishes and then some. However, it looks even better just hanging up as an accessory more than anything, it’s that nice.

This is probably one of the nicest tea towels I have ever seen, and I’m not just saying that because it has a beautiful retro pinup girl on it.  I am 100% only saying it because it has a beautiful retro pinup girl on it.

Tee hee.

Grab your pinup tea towel right here

This genuine porcelain mug uses heat sensitive inks that react to the temperature of your morning coffee. Just fill it up and watch the gauge magically show you how much coffee you have left in your tank. Genius.

If you are lazy like me, you should take it to restaurants with you too. That way you can visually show the waitress that you need a refill without ever having to ask. Yes, I am that lazy.

It appears that even ‘Grapes’ enjoys his cup of joe in the morning.

Grapes, looks like you need a top up. And some hockey.

Get your own tank up mug right here

There’s no better gift than the gift of honesty. That’s why, for the 10th year running, I’ve given my last 10 girlfriends this awesome coffee mug.

With this cool retro feel and microwaveable safe ceramic, you’ll be sure to keep this mug longer than your boyfriend.

Grab the mug here and serve up some joe

How faaaaabulous. Darling. It’s a Zebra Purse Mug. Complete with handle, buckles, and a flat edge for sitting sideways in your cupboard.

The best thing about this zebra mug is that it wasn’t actually made with real zebras. Which is a relief, because I’m quite fond of the zebra. Probably because it has the word ‘bra’ in it, and when you say ‘ze’ before it, it just sounds like you have a bad french accent.

Grab your own coffee couture with the Zebra Mug right here

So I made the mistake of bathing with this soap before going out tanning the other day. I was sizzling and I smelled terrific. Wait, did I say it was a mistake? What I meant to say was it was the best decision of my life. But it sure made me hungry.

Well here you have it. Bacon Soap, only invented because washing with bacon was not recommended*. Now they tell me.

It actually smells quite delicious and produces a nice lather to boot. Just take it easy when you have a hot shower, you might attract neighbours, and bears.

And don’t be fooled by your kid’s sudden foul mouth. This soap is too luxurious to be stuck in one’s mouth. Keep it on the outside.

With all this new technology these days, it just begs the question, how do they get that amazing bacon flavor inside every bar of soap?

It’s a secret.

Hee hee.

So if you want something awesome, grab a bar of bacon soap, because there’s nothing like cleaning your body the same way I clean my arteries.

Grab your own bacon soap right here and piggy up

*Results in massive amounts of backne

This little beauty is the Fly’s Wing Fly Swatter. Clever products are the sign of the times. It looks like a Fly’s Wing, you take a swing, the fly gets it. Ohhh yaaaaah. Killin’ in style.

Okay, I’m not a big believer in violence, but the clever ironic nature of this gadget ties the loop better than most M. Night Shyamalan movies and has me looking forward to the next horse fly that comes along and bothers me. I will be closely inspecting to see if I hear him chuckle before he gets pulverized.

Okay okay, I keed I keed. This fly’s wing is also perfect at wafting the air and shooing them out an open window. And they’ll appreciate the irony all the same, and enjoy the rest of their day too.

Get your Flyswing Swatter right here and swing away Merrill, swing away

If you are a crazy cat lady or just crazy for cats then here’s something for you. Odds are you already smell like this but you are dirty. So very dirty. So keep smelling like this and be clean for a change, mmkay?

This is cat food scented soap. It’s genius. You smell like cat so you wash and now you are clean and now you smell like cat food. Awesome sauce.

Most cats hate me, I’m scared of them. Just a couple weeks ago I was attacked for saying hello and…possibly my pant leg was wiggling beyond the acceptable cat tolerance level. I suppose I deserved it. And really who needs hair on both legs anyway? Leg hair, so overrated.

Yup, this cat soap is plain brilliant. It’s like a cat spa for your hands. And it’s a hand spa for your cats. They’re gonna love it.

Pamper yourself with this Cat Food Scented Soap right here

Road trip! Okay, not yet. I’m still saving up for it. That’s why I’ve got this awesome Fill’er Up Coin Bank. It’s a full service savings bank that will help me save for my trip.

All you have to do is drop the coins in the top and the meter magically goes up on the tank. Once the gauge is full, you’ll have enough savings to fuel that road trip of yours! Magic Sauce!

Road trip!

I was thinking. 163 pennies is enough to get me to Iowa, right?

If you buy it, they will come.

Get your own Fill’er Up Coin Bank here, spend, then start saving