Gener8 designers, Hans Muller and Hans Van Dongen designed a pretty sweet clock that lets you do more than just tell the time, it actually lets you ‘read’ the time. Don’t ask my why all people I’ve ever met in my life named Hans were smart and had beards, it just seems to work out that way. Between you and me I’m going to name all my future kids Hans. Scratch that. I’ll name my goldfish Hans and see what happens.
The coolest thing about this clock is you can put it anywhere, AND it doubles as a handle! Like the wicked clock wasn’t enough guys, you had to push your geniusness in our faces with the handle business. Apparently this elongated clock was patented in 1984 so they were even geniuses like 25 years ago. Sorry for the 25 year delay Hans’s, you are probably uber geniuses now, ah how time flies.
More info and pics of the elongated word clock
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When things start to heat up at your party and all your ladies are crying, just break the ice with these awesome global warming ice cube trays and you’ll be an instant hero.
But nah, I dunno. Something about seeing the whole world frozen in ice gives me the chills. No pun intended, its like a modern day ice age in there.
Okay, I lied. Everything above, totally pun intended.
Get your global warming ice cube tray here
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Yup. It’s finally here. Everything.
Well it’s gotta be right? You havent seen anything until you’ve seen it all, so this must be the last invention ever in the world, right? Right? Because I have certainly seen it all.
Okay, maybe I’m just going insane by the idea of putting a foot print into my mashed potatoes.
I’ve calmed down now.
Get your own foot print potato masher here
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Okay. So you started your new job and you thought you’d be doing the cool stuff because everyone else that works with you seems to be partially retarded. But instead of slacking and raking in the cash, some annoying chick hands you a bunch of papers and tells you to remove all the staples from them. And what are you supposed to do? Its your first day. You can’t even slap the ho. That’s like, day 39 at best.
Well don’t fret. Whip out this bad boy and see the envy in her eyes! When the boss sees you using this you’ll have an office with a window, a big raise, and be putting this thing in a glass case labelled ‘Hell Yah, Claw O’ Victory’. Oh yah. And you’ll get respect. That’s what’s important.
And I’m not talking about respect from the vegetarians out there, that doesn’t count. Although this still counts as a sea food, to me it is still a meat, and vegetarians who think seafood isn’t meat are also partially retarded.
Get your own lobster claw staple remover here and pick away life’s problems
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